The Upside of Awkward: How Cringe Moments Bring Us Closer

Awkward silences. Bad jokes. Waving back at someone who wasn’t waving at you. We’ve all had cringe moments—and most of us try to avoid them at all costs.

But what if we’ve got it backward? What if awkwardness is actually a hidden doorway to human connection?

Instead of something to fear, science suggests awkwardness can be something to embrace. Why? Because it’s real, relatable, and—if we let it—disarming in the best possible way.

Why We’re So Afraid of Being Awkward

Awkwardness taps into a primal fear: What if I don’t belong?

Evolutionary psychology tells us that humans are wired to seek social approval and avoid rejection. So when we flub a line or spill our coffee during small talk, our brains go into panic mode. Even small social missteps can feel like a threat.

But here’s the twist: most people don’t judge us nearly as harshly as we judge ourselves.

A study published in Psychological Science found that people consistently overestimate how negatively others view them after awkward encounters. In reality, observers are often more empathetic—and even more likely to like someone for being human and imperfect.

Cringe = Connection

According to social psychologist Brené Brown, vulnerability is the birthplace of connection. And few things make us more vulnerable than being awkward.

Whether you stumble through a joke, forget someone’s name, or say “you too” when the waiter tells you to enjoy your meal, those moments are humanizing. They remind people that you’re real—and real is magnetic.

In fact, awkwardness often invites empathy. It gives others permission to let their guard down too. A little social messiness says: “You don’t have to be perfect with me.”

Why Awkward Moments Stick (In a Good Way)

Research in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that shared vulnerability strengthens group bonds, even when that vulnerability involves embarrassment. Teams, couples, and friends who share honest, imperfect moments report higher levels of trust and emotional closeness.

Think about it:

The funniest stories usually come from something cringe.
Inside jokes often start with mutual awkwardness.
Long-term friends are the ones you’ve made fools of yourself around—and survived.

Awkwardness builds emotional intimacy through exposure and recovery. You mess up, someone laughs (with you), and suddenly the air is lighter.

How to Lean Into the Awkward (Instead of Running From It)

Name it. “Well, that was awkward,” goes a long way in defusing tension.
Laugh at yourself. Self-deprecating humor signals confidence and openness.
Stay in the moment. Don’t spiral. Most people forget awkward moments way faster than you do.
Flip it. See awkwardness as a potential connector, not a failure.

And if you can wear something that says, “I’m not taking myself too seriously,” (like a funny hoodie or a shirt with a cringey pun), you’re actually giving people permission to engage with you playfully.