The Social Power of Compliments: Why Noticing the Good in Others Changes Everything

The Social Power of Compliments: Why Noticing the Good in Others Changes Everything

Think about the last time someone gave you a sincere compliment. Not the generic “nice shirt,” but a real one—something specific that made you feel seen.

It probably stuck with you, right?

Compliments are one of the simplest, most underused tools for human connection. And in a world where people often feel invisible, acknowledging what’s good in someone else can change both of your days. Science says so, too.

Compliments Are Tiny Social Superpowers

At their core, compliments are a form of positive social feedback. They communicate warmth, recognition, and appreciation—all key ingredients for trust and connection.

A 2012 study in PLOS ONE found that receiving a compliment activates the same reward center in the brain as receiving money. In other words, kind words literally light people up. Better yet, giving compliments improves yourmood, too.

Additional findings:

  • Compliments increase self-esteem and motivation

  • They enhance social bonding and group morale

  • People who give compliments are rated as more friendly, open, and emotionally intelligent

Why We Don’t Compliment More Often

Despite their impact, compliments are often withheld. Why?

  • We assume it’ll be awkward (“They’ll think I’m weird.”)

  • We underestimate their power (“They probably hear it all the time.”)

  • We overthink the wording (“I don’t know how to say it without sounding cheesy.”)

But research from the University of Pennsylvania shows that people consistently underestimate how much others appreciate compliments. Even simple praise can be meaningful when it’s genuine.

How to Give Better Compliments

Not all compliments are created equal. The most impactful ones are:

  • Specific – “You have a calming presence in meetings” > “You’re cool.”

  • Authentic – Say what you really mean. People can tell.

  • Unconditional – Praise that isn’t tied to performance or expectation feels safest.

  • Frequent – Make it a habit, not a one-time thing.

And yes, even funny or playful compliments count. “That shirt makes my day better just by existing” can be a surprisingly strong icebreaker.

The Upside of Noticing the Good

When you compliment others, you’re training your brain to focus on what’s going well—in people, in life, in yourself. That’s a subtle shift, but it has big effects.

Psychologist Martin Seligman’s research on positive psychology shows that expressing appreciation builds optimism and resilience—not just for the person receiving it, but for the one offering it, too.

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